


arik i swear 2 god

by ShippingAndBeyond



Category: Original Work, The Beyond - Fandom
Genre: Arik and Leif screwed in Yuuki's bed, Crack, M/M, Yuuki was fudgin pissed and there was a lot more drama that happened elsewhere, complete and utter crack, honestly what is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-02 13:55:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10219724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingAndBeyond/pseuds/ShippingAndBeyond
Summary: "o hi i am arik the angsty werewolf teenager."Or: Arik's magical adventures in babysitting with his boyfriend Leif and his not-anymore-team.(This is complete and utter crack. Seriously. Don't really expect anything else.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written by the lovely Nightingale! Hope you all enjoy, lmfao.

o hi i am arik the angsty werewolf teenager. so i actually started a life after yuuki kicked me out of team dragenstorm for having the sex with Leaf in her bed. now i was sad but i began to babosit becas ei needed moar money so teh first person i sat fir was draligon from team dragenstorm he was kinda nice except wehn he went jurasic park on me maybe from a masculine moosswing but idk so i acepted the job. while everyone was gone i saw aiko and wondred what to do. i decided to feedher so i chwed up food to give her liek a birb but tehn i sw the list drally left me and said he had dunosaur nilk for her in the fridge and since she devoured it in less tahn 5 secs i went to a nice cool place, the backyrd, to raise her like my parents raised me. i throw a frisbee an sge run off to catch it and once it went nto a tree and aiko wouldnt come down. i climbs up the tree fast like that spiky blu creature from that vudeo gaem wear u hafta collect al the rings like that hobbit movie or someyhkbg. i got aiko and it was time for bed becase draligon and yuuki and lexis and sly and hisashi and echo and other people thst i may hav forhotton will be bakc tomorow. i put bby aiko in her babo bed. 

i thouht to sing her a song-- "once my leader named yuki who was a jerk tell me to be gud~ so i was gud~ but one day i sw them beutiful eyes gazing at mee~~ ny boyfrirn naemd leaf~~~" 

suddenennelly aiko yelled "GAAAAAAY". 

i had aboit enugh of her carp taht day so I wrapped up teh song "so we were tigether in bed~~ and yuuki the jerk fired me~~ and I will get revenge one day~~~~~" i begun to sob becase of how cryel yuuki was all I did was scrdw in her bed why was taht bad? i relized aiko was leaning on my leg nasty beast i kikked her into the corner and I herd a thunk but shes asleep at least, i then went out to sgut the door. I make sure to nail down teh dore with boreds and naols so she wont get out during teh night. i went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arik puts on a dress for Leif as he continues his babysitting career.

in the morning i rolled onto the floar. my clothes were so dirti so i renembered taht draligom wrote me a note thst he had clothes for me in his closet. i opened it up and sww maid dresses with harts on tehm. i was a wondeful made. i went bakc to the room where aiko slrpt and saw she made a hole in tge wood an was pereing out. i was not amused at all. i got a pretry sharp objict and begun wackin the doar open, but aiko wouldnt come out. so i threw in a can of tamato paste in thear and she began to eat it so that was all good. i heard a knock at teh doar and opened it acpexting yuuki but instead no it was leaf. 

"hey bby ur lookn sexii in ur new dress" and i blushed. he askd if he could come in and i said onlu if he hekped babusit and he was like "YES PLS" AND SO WE (oops caps lock) went bakc insied but aijo wasny anywear in sight. suddenendly we relizrd she was crawling on teh ceeling like an exsoricm. leaf advised me to call tha priest byt i said "no she's fine theres leftovr tamatoto paste in her room". then leaf give me this face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I like /)////(\ and he hold my hand and we gazd longingky into eacothers eyes.

i said "lets go to yuukis" room and so we did wear we spent romentic tiems togeyhhrr. we maed sure to lock Aiko up in her cage and thro a stivk of butter in thear to keep her ocupied. 

suddenemly!!!(!!!1!) we heard a voice say "aiko bby im home honey~!" and they were all bakc from a place sly saw in a comic wear ppl had big eyes it was caled japanana. they vusited teh hot springerd thear. so leaf and i stoped screwin aroind and put up the kazzoos quicklu but it was too laet. yuuki came in and yells "arik i swear 2 god y r u whering a dress an scrwing leaf!" and taht was my first babositing xperence im never doing it for draligonnnanan agen.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Arik sorta breaks the fourth wall...

my next babositing experence was wiht a nice couple naemed Nitingail and Jihn. the father of thear child was freeki like he had a creepey mask liek that charater from ovrwatch. him and his waifu were off 2 go to a nice plaec called teh beech whatever tf taht is and i am suposd to lick aftr thear babo who is spooki like its fahter(can't tell gendr bc it was born wiht a mask likr fahter). so i stood in teh livngroom watching the chil play monopoly in yhe corner but it was actually sumoning demon. i took it away from the monopoly and wihsed itd stop starring me with its beady red eyes. i set it at teh tabel and gaev it a sweat smiel. "hello bby chekes can u draw a picture fir momy and dady wehn tehy get back?" 

the littl monstr stabed me with fork and begun to paunt with my blode. i cried bc of the panting was so beutiful and i nevr saw sych fien art. suddenenennly i relized yhat we wear runing out if paper. i was broek bc yuuki stole my money aftr babisitting so i decided to set up a lemonade stand. 

i caled leaf, "hey sexii wanna come halp me sell lemonade?" he said "yES PLSE" and so we picked up the child abd began to sell lemenade. 

it wasny how it was in the moves liek wen the ppl set up the stand and tehy maek a lot of moni an becoem famus. no everyoen took the yellow drink and thouht it needed moar suger. hoyrs went on and i saw that the skies were like frim that food movie wear spagetti was faling but thear wasnt any noodls it was just red so i pikced up the masked child and leaf n me went inside. xylthain was thear for some reason loking throygh the drawers and he looked up in sohck. i nevr got to ask why he ws thear on taht fateful day bc that was wehn jihn and nitingail caem in and their child jumped at tehm and ckawed and bit theure faces in effection. the parnts smield and saw the art an the daddi saed "omg kawaii desu" anf marveled at teh art. i loked arnd to sea if xyl was stil thear bu he wasnt so thus is the prt if the story when thears a cliffgamger and u wont know the tru reeson behnd why xyl was theare until like a few chpters or so ahead ok bye pls like this and see u next time~~~~~!!!


End file.
